Parents of the bride deny wishes of a small courthouse wedding, demand extravagance and costs wedding party over $500 each: ‘Things rapidly fly off the rails.'

Author image for Elna McHilderson
Elna McHilderson • Managing Editor
Oct 19, 2025 9:00 PM EDT

Are weddings inherently expensive or are the outdated traditions that boomer parents demand at them taking most of the budget?

 

We all know that having a wedding is not cheap. That's why more people are opting for simple courthouse marriages and perhaps a small dinner party afterwards. All that most people can afford these days with the cost of everything skyrocketing. Weddings have always been costly, but even the "cheap" weddings these days cost a pretty penny. The wedding tax has gotten out of hand!

 

However, when this couple decided to have a small courthouse wedding, the bride's parents demanded they follow Chinese traditions. These traditions can end up being very expensive, and because of this, the bride demanded the wedding party plan everything for them for free. Well, free ford them, it cost the wedding party over $500 a person, plus unpaid time off!

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  • "Low budget wedding that the wedding party's labour paid for."

    Low budget wedding that the wedding party's labour paid for
    via Unsplash+ (and A.C.)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • This wedding counts as tacky too, but the bride's bridezilla-ness supercedes everything else. Everyone involved is ethnically Chinese, except the best man (this will be relevant later) I agreed to be the MOH at my best friend of 13 years' wedding.
    via LibrarianLower9442
  • She envisioned a simple courthouse wedding, with no one else but their parents (6 pax in total: the couple, 4 parents, me and the best man), being the MOH was just her way of including her bestie on her big day.
    via LibrarianLower9442
  • Things rapidly fly off the rails when her parents start making demands. Chinese parents here in Asia are very used to getting their way.
    via LibrarianLower9442
  • She caved to her parents' wishes of inviting their relatives. It's now a 30 pax wedding, still small by local standards when the average is 50-100 guests.
    via LibrarianLower9442
  • But she insisted the wedding party could handle everything. No need for a wedding planner. Which means huge chunks of wedding planning now fell on my and the best man's laps.
    via LibrarianLower9442
  • - I was in charge of "procurement". Calling florists, photographers etc to get quotations, only for the bride to reject them and demand I try again.
    via LibrarianLower9442
  • Sometimes the price wasn't right (their budget was negligible) other times it didn't match her vision.
    via LibrarianLower9442
  • Her vision changed depending on the time of day so it was very difficult to nail down a supplier - the best man worked at a restaurant, and the bride demanded he secure them a private room at no extra charge.
    via LibrarianLower9442
  • - there was no budget for a DJ nor an emcee. She gave me a Spotify playlist and a Powerpoint slide to click through during the ceremony - instead of champagne, the couple got sparkling water.
    via LibrarianLower9442
  • Low budget wedding that the wedding party's labour paid for, bridezilla
    via Unsplash+ (and Roma Shackiy)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The bride (or I should say bridezilla) convinced her maid-of-honor that if she didn't do these free acts of service for her, then she did not care about her. So, unsure of what to do and afraid to look like the bad guy, she did everything the bride asked. However, by the end of the now much large wedding, she was drained and felt used. Now, she hasn't spoken to her old friend, the bride, since the wedding.

  • SPARKLING WATER. and were surprised when the bottle didn't pop when they shook it. - the wedding favours were flowers plucked from the floral decorations after the march in.
    via LibrarianLower9442
  • The best man and I had to pluck them ourselves and shove them into small vases.
    via LibrarianLower9442
  • Her cousins took pity on us and helped, bless them. The icing on the cake was, per local Chinese customs, all guests and the wedding party should give a red packet to the couple.
    via LibrarianLower9442
  • It's a red envelope with money, and we're strongly expected to at least cover our meal.
    via LibrarianLower9442
  • It's a shitty custom that incentivises couples to book extravagant banquets and expect guests to foot the bill.
    via LibrarianLower9442
  • In total, I spent over $500 on this wedding, and that's not counting the lost income as I took unpaid leave to attend.
    via LibrarianLower9442
  • The best man, unaware of this tradition since it's not his culture, was the only one who didn't give a red packet and got lots of dirty looks from the older relatives for "not caring enough" about the couple.
    via LibrarianLower9442
  • you're wondering why the couple is acting so cash strapped, they recently sunk millions into a condominium.
    via LibrarianLower9442
  • They earn above average income, but will be illiquid for the foreseeable future
    via LibrarianLower9442

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